Mirror, mirror, on the wall – reflect upon me, my true self that I cease to know.
There are times, we could not even look up to ourselves. We felt disgusted with what we had become, what we had done, or said or intended. None of such should cost anyone in this world, the loss of self worth.
An act of penitence does not define the unworthiness of a character, instead the contrary. Our past deeds will always be the past. No actions later may alter the fact. However, penitence, soon to follow like a shadow’s distance from a subject, is that one and only chance we could compensate for our deeds.
Fear not, for those who remorse their deeds, for their courage to admit them. Fear those, who decorate their deeds, in such ways, convincing enough to blur your vision between good and evil.
Never for a moment, doubt yourselves when you are constantly struck with the realizations of your winding paths in life. Mistakes are inevitable, may it be intentional mistakes or not. An intention exists beyond our full control. Therefore having intended to do a deed, be it good or bad, could simply be a mistake and not unalterable scars.
Why are we struck with these realizations and feel remorse? Remorse for your past actions, is simply a sign. A sign of who you really are. Knowing ourselves is a task impossible for most. But penitence, unknowingly, serve us better than a mirror could.
When we feel guilt, we know we had done wrong. Guilt exists after admittance. Admittance towards one’s fault is a courageous trait, and a trait worth seeing. Such a trait is a glimpse of light in a dark cave it represents. Further ‘self-inflict’ punishments are unnecessary once such thoughts exist. Though the tendency of losing self worth is common to occur, one should think the otherwise and be more rich with perspectives in their views.
Understand that, once you feel self worthlessness, you know what went wrong. So do you know what you should and should not do in later time. It is a self discovery of self characteristics. Without such moments, there will not be an entity for us to compare our self worth by. Only with bad deeds and remorse afterwards, are what made us realize, in a sense that, we could be better than who we are now.
What better mirror to use to reflect upon ourselves, than penitence? Be glad you feel remorse for your deeds, and not otherwise. Self worthlessness is perhaps one of those negative sounding concepts that actually bring positive impacts.
Question your worthiness, is what raises your worthiness.
Constantly I meet people who seem to have troubles with living their lives. No, it is not the problems that they collided by chance, by luck, or by fate. Nobody is born for a destined purpose, or with unpleasant lucks. Humans are programmed for survivability, so neither could any of us remove the tendency to constantly debug a glitch in us. As an example, if we failed to digest what we ate, we belch, we feel heart burns and many health crisis soon to follow. These example of illnesses are all signs of us unknowingly trying to fix a problem within or without us.
When we are to face a problem, it is common that we act similarly. However, the fact that all these tendencies though useful at times, they do not work in all situations. The point here is, just because our instincts guided us, and even at times, our mind may not be on our side, we give in. We let nature itself, though graceful, led us into beliefs and acts that may not fix us in every situation.
If one could not understand such a fact, then mileage naught, will he or her travel.
We see only, what we want to see. We hear only, what we want to hear. We believe only, what we want to believe.
These are what gave birth to ignorance, though the purpose of such a trait to exist is our main defense to threats that we inflict upon ourselves. Bringing down self-esteem and self value from within, bringing down our walls of confidence and spirit. Destroying hopes, and will to fight for what we once were so sparked about. Threats like these are those that break a man.
Such situations are what made our lives less happy.
Why does the fact that “1+1=2” is a fact beyond questionable that no mind, no matter how brilliant it is, cannot path a way to defy it? A simple math equation like this can either be a universal truth, or the greatest hoax in the whole universe. The reason we cease to think otherwise is because we believed it. If we chose not to, and truly believe otherwise, it would seem like the biggest hoax of all time, would not it be?
Our limits are beyond like the universe. Yet, we cease to believe the never ending universe and only stargaze upon stars near our solar systems. We track for galaxies, new planets, and new neighbouring stars, when the real adventure is beyond. Our limits are only bound by us, our belief.
To succeed in breaking through, is to firstly, believe. If you believe, you will then see, what you wish to see, and hear what you want to hear. The fact that a nomad musician could not reach the world with his music is because he ceased to believe.
No matter what your thoughts are, if you do not believe them, they would be the greatest hoax. Otherwise, they would be a universal truth.
Most people often had words and messages that are inconvenient to be addressed. For whatever reasons it may be, others will never understand. So here it is, the words that I failed to express to certain people in my life.
My Grandfather (passed away in September 2008)
Hey Grandpa, how you doing? How was life on the other side? Actually, I’ve always wanted to say, you’re my hero. I’ve always wanted to say that I love you but I am never good in expressing touchy thoughts. I just want to let you know that, what you’ve done for me, for our family was amazing. All of us appreciates and misses you. If only I could say this when you’re alive, but I just can’t. Love is something that I can receive and feel, but not express. I’m sorry that I’ve never been there enough for you, though you’ve been there all the time, for me. Maybe in a later life, you would be somebody important to me. And hopefully I would learn my lesson and by then, I’ll be able to let you know how much I really do love and care for you. I hope you can read this somehow, no matter where you are now. Your presence has always been within me. Your warmth, your smile and your grace is still here, in my memories, comforting me during my tough times. Such a great man you were, I hope I’m growing up to be a person like you were. From your beloved grandson.
The Girl I Love – My Bestfriend
I’ve always wanted to tell you that I’ve fallen in love with you the day you said you like me. But I understand, in order for friendships to last longer, we should stay as friends and this feelings was just a phase for you. Truth is, though I always show you my cold side, deep inside, I store you in the most comfortable and warm corner of my heart. The spot where I place my loved ones. Stop being insecure, because you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. Though I’ve never really told you that, but it’s not because I don’t think so. It’s because I don’t think I’m in the right place to tell you that. Just be patient, and one day, that right guy will tell you how beautiful you are and it would mean the world to you, it would mean more than if I said it. I know you might think I just never change, never able to stand up for what I want and tell you that I love you instead of hiding my feelings despite the outcomes. I just hope that you understand, I wish for our friendship to last because at the same time you’re the best friend I’ve ever had. The one who understands me most, the one who is always there despite how broken down I am. I’m just not strong enough to sacrifice a pure friendship like this, for merely my selfishness to pursue romance. I’ll always be here for you.
Hey mum and dad, there isn’t much to write here as I hid the least things from the both of you. However, I just wanted the both of you to know that, I love the both of you. I recognized the sacrifices made, and I will never forget what the both of you did, just so I don’t starve and to provide me with the best education possible. I’m hoping that I do not disappoint you, mum and dad, because truth be told, I’m not a smart guy. Don’t worry though, I’ll do my best just as you guys did, to raise me up. I’ll grow up into a strong man, and I’ll shelter the both of you, then.