‘Raising a child is like planting a tree. If you have a stick there to support it too often, it will grow to lean on it, not straight. When it is already a grown tree, you can’t change how it decides to branch out. Provide enough, and don’t chop off unwanted branches if you don’t want to hurt it.’ – Dwayne C. Fischer
At his late 70s, he still kept working and refused to take any retirement. No, my grandfather did not have a family to feed. All his children turned out well and has enough money for him. Yet, he worked, because he never wanted to be anyone’s burden. Contradictory, he even provide for his grandchildren.
Most of my childhood, I have spent with my grandfather. However, as I was still young back then, I never showed any appreciation. I never told him that I love him.
Back in the days, when I was only 7, he will never let me go hungry. Because my parents are busy working class people, they never had time to walk or drive me home from school. He never minded, to tire himself to do what is best for his family. None of us (me and my cousins) ever get left behind whenever our parents are busy. He will always be there to compensate what our parents cannot do for us.
At times, he would surprise me with my favourite food. He would just stand there, and stare at me while I enjoy the food. I guess he just wanted to see all of us happy. So I just turned to him and smile all the time, letting him know I am happy with what he did. He would just nod, in satisfaction.
He is by far, the fairest person I have ever known. He never let any one of his grandchildren to fall behind, or to lead. He was always so determined to make sure that we all are provided equally so that we will never quarrel and to build a strong family bond. Whenever one of us had an awesome new toy, he will try his very best to get each of his grandchildren the equal piece of toy.
He is also a man of principles. He lived his life as disciplined as possible. Back then, everyone would gather around for dinner everyday. He would catch up with all of us. He was always concerned with all of us. Everything is just right, with him around.
Perhaps, what makes me proud is that, he eventually adopted a couple of poor kids. They are not any younger than his very own children. Now they are all grown up, successful, and most importantly, they grew up with a family, thanks to him.
Unfortunately, everyone grows old. I was then 15, and I had to deal with his departure. In fact, at the day of his death, he drove to visit us. Yes, at the age of 15, I did not spend as much time with him as I did when I was younger.
We stopped needing him to drive or walk us home from school, because we are “grown up” enough to do on our own. If only we were not so “grown up”, we would have spent as much time as we could with him. But, how would we know what we lose, until we lose them? He was so healthy. Yet, on the day of his death, he was able to drive all the way to visit us.
We were all devastated on the day of his death. Everyone could not have gotten to where they are without him. Even before his death, he had left a will, not of his property and money, but his message to all of us. Telling us how we should live our lives, and that family comes first.
During his funeral, I could not even shed a tear, because I just could not accept the fact that he is gone. I have yet to show him that I could be somebody one day. I have yet to show him that, all his effort and love for me had not gone to waste.
It is now 6 years after his passing. Now all I have is his photos to remember him by. If only I had spent more time with him, and let him know that he did a great job to keep his family. Things are just not the same anymore without him but, he will always be in our hearts.
Since I have grown up quite a lot the past years, those who remember him would at times tell me I am just like him. Every time I hear that, I would smile. My only hope is that I would grow up to be half the man he was. How I wish he is still here, to help me and be there when things are just getting harder as I grow up. Grandpa, I miss you.
Everyone is born with each a specific set of various traits. Smart and stupid is not one of them. Therefore, no one is born smart, or stupid.
by Dwayne C. Fischer
You lock yourself in a dark room,
at this point, it is of no point,
that what if it is a sunny day.
Let it rain instead, you thought.
Phone rang, doorbells as well,
neither one would worth answering.
Closing in on all,
’twas such a good plan, to not plan.
It was not all like this back then,
when you could still see green patches,
when you could still see sunrise,
when you could still feel security.
Regrets, so much, so unbearable.
What if I could turn it all back,
that question you cannot stop asking.
‘Buy’ had became ‘Bought’.
Spend, spending, spent.
Just like tenses, tales of time,
an indisputable timeline.
A lesson well learned indeed.
For the hundredth time, perhaps,
plenty tried to reach into your thick shell.
Finally, though, you answered,
“Leave me alone, my wallet is empty.”
Imagine this. You went to a diner just to have your ordinary meal. You see an old man sitting near the counter staring at his food. ‘Perhaps this old man is too old to feed himself?’ you wondered. Out of a sudden, you felt like you could hear voices of thoughts. ‘Where do these voices come from?’ you asked yourself. Soon, you realised, parts of it came from the old man.
‘This pancake is just so smokin’ hot! How I wish they would come to live. Hmm, let’s just wait it out and see if that’s gonna happen.’ thoughts of the old man as he continue staring at his plate of pancakes, lifting one side of his eyebrow in a rather cheeky manner.
‘I must have gone mental!’ you thought to yourself. ‘However, I’ve got to admit, that old man is hilarious!’
Then from the corner of the diner, that table nearest to the toilet entrance, ‘God, how I like the smell of toilets. Luckily I came early enough to snatch a seat at this precious spot!’ thoughts from a rather plump lady at her 30s, while smiling so widely as if she has won the lottery and looking around her.
‘What the -, is she for real?’ as you ponder upon her thoughts, looking focus directly at her. She then turned to you as she noticed your glance.
‘Hey there, what a nice day. So glad that people nowadays don’t flush after they’re done in the loo ain’t that right?’ replied in thoughts by the lady as she turned her view towards you while keeping that rather annoying smile of hers. It is as if she now know you can read her mind!
‘Lady, you have pretty serious issues. Yet, I find it funny somehow.’ you thought as you shift your view away from her. You then come to see of a child staring right at you, up and down, shifting at a rhythmic motion, viewing from the plate of spaghetti beneath your face, scanning up to look right in your eyes in repetition.
With that killer motive look, it reads ‘You, my friend, has chose to eat the spaghetti at the wrong time.’ ‘What?! How would there be a time when it would be wrong to have a plate of spaghetti?’ you thought as you squint while staring back at him.
He then grinned in a rather evil manner and thought to himself, ‘So, you want it the hard way. You must have got guts made of steel to eat spaghetti on a day I pooped in my pants and with some of those feeling like the meatballs you have on your spaghetti being in my pants. My friend, you really are suicidal.’
Abruptly cutting between your view of the diner, the waitress lay down a tray in front of you and place the milk you ordered earlier on your table. As she left, all you see then, is an old man eating his pancakes, a rather happy lady at her 30s smiling warmly at her date, and an adorable 3 year old child sitting there staring at you while his mother spoon feeds him.
‘Oh, such entertainment.’ you told yourself as you put up a rather soft laughter. Creativity and imagination, an entertainment to all ages!
“Just like how you judge an artwork, a matter is only as worse as you see it, otherwise, as beautiful.” – Dwayne C. Fischer
He hung up, filled with disappointment. If only she knew that it is not easy. It has always been hard to talk to Anne although she had been his close friend for years. David knew. He knew that all this is complicated because he could never get over the fact that there is always the urge to push things forward. Feelings that were hidden. David had always been fond of her.
Anne is a discrete girl, who would be really picky and choosy when it comes to mixing around with people. However, she always put in an enormous amount of hard effort to overcome this. David had always been there however; may it be bad or good.
The friendship between the both of them was rather one-sided. David was always afraid of losing her. He knew she would never see him, the same way he sees her. Such a fact serves as a catalyst to which led to the withdrawal behavior which is often shown by him. He was just afraid to fall too deep for her.
It was the eve of new year. As usual, though they are close, there always seems to have the existence of a barrier between them. They celebrated separately.
As David came to his friends at a club nearby, they could see easily that it happened again. Everyone can tell that he somehow have feelings for Anne, except Anne herself.
“Whaddup Dave! Come on dude, let’s have fun tonight and not anything spoil the night!”, said Alan, who has always been a ‘wise’ friend to David. None of Alan’s advice will ever seem less valuable to David.
“Man, I just don’t know what to do. She’s been pushing me away since.” David said as he reach for his first shot of Vodka. “Are you sure that’s the real situation?”, replied Alan while lifting his hand over David’s shoulder to give him a pat.
“You see, that’s the problem with you, Dave.” Alan continued. “You never really reach out to what you want, because you’re just too afraid of getting hurt. I mean, look, if you love her, then love her! Why would you even worry if she’s going to love you back or not?”.
David held back the second shot of Vodka he had on his hand. As he put down the glass, he turned to Alan with an expression of both submission and retaliation to the idea. “Maybe you’re right, bud.” he said as he gave up on the idea of getting drunk on the night of the eve.
David was there, thinking through the whole night as everyone was celebrating. Soon later, he reach for his cellphone in his pocket. He popped it out and dialed Anne’s number. They did talk, and for the first time their conversation was easy going and smooth.
After the call, David came back to Alan with a smile and they finished off the night with a happy countdown to new year for David after all.
Days to follow, Alan knew that David and Anne had been hanging out often. David had since hardly have anything to complain about their friendship.
However, romance was the last thing that will bud between the two of them. Every each of David’s friends could see that he had no chance. Out of curiosity, one of them sent David a text asking if he is considering any alternatives between him and Anne.
David then replied the text with, “I love her. I used to be afraid to admit that because I was afraid of getting hurt. Too afraid I guess. I know she will never see me the same way, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t or will not love her. Until she can find a better man, I’m here to make her happy as much as I could.”